The Maid I Hired Recently Is Mysterious Porn

Okay, so I hired a new cleaning service last month. The company, Sparkle & Shine, seemed legit. They had good reviews and a reasonable price, so I booked them for a weekly deep clean.

The first cleaner they sent over was… unexpected. Let’s call her Veronica. Veronica was efficient. Like, surgically efficient.

She moved through my apartment with a speed and precision I usually only see in those time-lapse videos of people building LEGO castles.

The Revelation

A few days later, I was scrolling through a… well, let’s just say a website that caters to, ahem, adult interests. Totally normal, right?

And then, bam. There she was. Veronica.

Not cleaning, obviously. But... performing. Let's just leave it there.

The Internal Debate

My initial reaction was shock, followed by a healthy dose of awkwardness.

Should I say something? Should I pretend I didn't see anything? Was it even my business?

I mean, she’s a fantastic cleaner. The oven hasn't sparkled like that since it was brand new.

And honestly, who am I to judge? Everyone's got bills to pay, and it’s not like she’s hurting anyone.

Still, the thought of her dusting my shelves after, you know, filming… something… was a bit much to process.

The Awkward Encounter

The next week, Veronica arrived, armed with her cleaning supplies and a cheerful smile.

I tried my best to act normal. “Hey, Veronica! Glad to see you!” I probably sounded way too enthusiastic.

I spent the entire appointment trying not to make eye contact. It was like a bizarre game of cat and mouse, only the cat was wielding a Swiffer and the mouse was desperately trying to avoid thinking about… things.

The Resolution (Maybe?)

I haven't said anything to Veronica. It just feels too weird.

Maybe it's better to just appreciate her cleaning skills and pretend I live under a rock.

My apartment has never been cleaner. That’s a fact.

And who knows? Maybe she’s saving up for something amazing. Like a really, really good vacuum cleaner.

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” – Oscar Wilde (I feel like he’d appreciate this story)

But seriously, the moral of the story? Don’t Google your cleaning lady. Just… don't.

Or, you know, maybe do. Just be prepared for anything.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some baseboards that need scrubbing. And maybe a therapist appointment to book.