How To Get The Old Goat In Goat Simulator

Okay, so you wanna be an Old Goat, huh? In Goat Simulator, I mean. Not, like, in real life (though, hey, no judgment!). Getting that wrinkly, experienced goat is actually kinda fun, a mini-adventure in itself. So, grab your coffee (or, you know, a can of goat soda?) and let's dive in!

Step 1: Head to Goatville - The OG Map

First things first, you absolutely gotta be in the original Goatville map. No fancy Goat City Bay nonsense for this quest, my friend. We're going old school, like rocking a floppy disk (remember those?). So, if you're gallivanting around in another map, hit that reset button and choose Goatville. Got it? Good.

Step 2: Find the Dark Alleys - Where Secrets Lurk

Now, things get a little sneaky. You need to locate the dark alleys. Think shady, back-alley kind of places. Okay, specifically, we're aiming for that area near the Low-Gravity Testing Facility. You know, where all the crazy scientists are messing with physics? Yeah, that place.

Keep an eye out for a small, seemingly unimportant alleyway tucked away. You’ll know you're on the right track when things start to feel... well, a bit creepy. Does that sound about right? You betcha!

Step 3: The Goathenge Ritual - Kinda

Alright, this is where the magic happens (sort of). Deep in this alley, you'll find something... special. Prepare yourself... it's Goathenge. Yeah, a mini Stonehenge made of goats. Because, why not? This is Goat Simulator, after all!

Around Goathenge, you’ll see five little pedestals. Now, here's the tricky part: you need to find five golden goat statues scattered around Goatville and place them on these pedestals. Sounds easy? Haha, think again! It wouldn't be a challenge otherwise, right?

Step 4: Statue Scavenger Hunt! - Let's Go!

Okay, so, statue locations! I'm not gonna give you all the answers (where's the fun in that?), but I’ll give you some hints to get you started. Think of it as a mini-treasure hunt!

• Statue #1: Check around the Low-Gravity Testing Facility. Maybe look up a little?
• Statue #2: The Goat Tower is a good starting point. You'll be needing a lot of jetpack for this one.
• Statue #3: Any idea what's being built in town?

I can’t tell you everything; otherwise, I would rob you of your chance to make it a journey of self-discovery. A philosophical journey. Where you learn… something!

Step 5: Place the Statues - One by One

Once you've located a golden goat, simply lick it (classic Goat Simulator move) and drag it back to Goathenge. Then, ram the statue into one of the empty pedestals. Repeat until all five are in place.

Step 6: Behold! - The Old Goat!

Once you've placed all five statues, prepare to be amazed! A glorious (and slightly disturbing) cutscene will play, and BAM! You’ve unlocked the Old Goat!

Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of a geriatric goat. Go forth and wreak havoc! I feel like I was helpful. Oh well, that's for you to know!

Pro-Tip: Don’t give up! Some of those statues are seriously well hidden. Use your goat abilities (jetpack, tongue, headbutt) to their fullest! And remember to have fun. After all, it's just a game about being a ridiculous goat!

Wasn’t that goat-tastic? Now go, be the old goat you were meant to be!