What We Do In The Shadows Streaming Service
Okay, so you love What We Do in the Shadows, right? The mockumentary about vampire roommates blundering through modern life is comedy gold. But have you ever stopped to think about what their streaming service would look like?
The Nadja Doll Plays Favorites
Imagine logging in and the first thing you see is a tiny, crudely made Nadja doll, complete with button eyes, 'recommending' shows. Except, her recommendations are always skewed towards anything involving curses, ancient blood rituals, or anything with a suspiciously high "shirtless barbarian" quotient.
She'd definitely have a section dedicated to her past lovers (all portrayed in historically inaccurate, yet flattering, ways) and Guillermo would spend hours trying to fix the algorithm to show something other than "Nadja's Erotic Historical Fantasies."
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Nandor's "Strongest Warriors" Picks
Then there’s Nandor's section. He would only suggest documentaries about the strongest warriors in history. But inevitably, they'd all be narrated by him, with added embellishments about his own (clearly superior) fighting prowess.
Prepare for frequent historical inaccuracies! "And then, I, Nandor the Relentless, swooped in and personally taught Genghis Khan how to ride a horse. He was very grateful." There would definitely be a disclaimer needed.
László's... Adult Section
László's contributions would be, shall we say, unique. Think art documentaries with a very specific (and often anatomical) focus. Or obscure black and white films with titles like "A Study in Shadows" that are, well, wink wink, not about shadows at all.
Good luck navigating that minefield. Let's just say there'd be a robust parental control system implemented (thanks, Guillermo!).
Colin Robinson: The Endless Scroll
And poor Colin Robinson? His section would be nothing but endless spreadsheets of statistical analyses, lectures on municipal zoning laws, and hours of C-SPAN footage.
The streaming service would cleverly hide that section if it detects you are a energy vampire in disguise. If it doesn't, you will start yawning uncontrollably and feel your life force slowly ebbing away. Proceed with caution!
Guillermo's Behind-The-Scenes Gold
The true gem of this hypothetical streaming platform would be Guillermo's secret stash. Hidden deep in the code, he would have a folder of behind-the-scenes footage.
This might include Nandor tripping over his cape, Nadja arguing with the Nadja doll, and László accidentally setting his pants on fire during a magic trick. He could call it "Bat Outtakes" or something similarly punny. It would be the only thing worth subscribing for, honestly.
What About Ads?
The ads would be glorious. Imagine creepy public service announcements from the Guide, reminding you to never invite strangers into your home, or warnings about the dangers of glitter.
Or perhaps a commercial for a new vampire-safe sunscreen, endorsed by a reluctant Nandor. "It’s… adequate," he’d grumble, clearly preferring to rely on his centuries-honed ability to simply avoid the sun.
The Ultimate Binge
Ultimately, a What We Do in the Shadows streaming service would be a chaotic, hilarious, and deeply endearing mess. It'd be a reflection of the vampires themselves: flawed, ridiculous, and utterly unforgettable.
Who needs Netflix when you can have ancient curses, historical inaccuracies, and endless spreadsheets? Sign me up!
