What We Do In The Shadows One Week

Okay, folks, confession time. I spent a week living like the vampires from What We Do In The Shadows. Yes, you read that right. It was… an experience.

Monday: The Wardrobe Challenge

First hurdle: the clothes. Forget jeans and t-shirts. Think velvet, lace, and lots of black. My closet looked like a goth convention exploded.

My unpopular opinion? Velvet is itchy. Very, very itchy.

I ended up raiding my grandma's attic. Score! A slightly musty, but surprisingly stylish, Victorian-era shawl.

Tuesday: Bat Form Fails

Trying to turn into a bat? Yeah, that didn't happen. Turns out, shifting your molecular structure is harder than it looks.

I did flap my arms a lot. My neighbors definitely think I'm weird now.

Instead, I settled for wearing a cheap bat mask I found at the dollar store. Stylish, right?

Wednesday: Hypnotism Attempts

Time to try hypnotism. I attempted to convince my cat to do my taxes.

Result? He just glared at me and batted my glasses off my face. Cats. Always so resistant.

Maybe I need more practice. Or a less judgmental feline overlord.

Thursday: The Garlic Debacle

Garlic is the enemy, apparently. As someone who puts garlic on EVERYTHING, this was tough.

I tried. I really did. But pasta without garlic? Sacrilege!

I snuck a little in. Don't tell Nandor.

Friday: Avoiding Sunlight

Staying out of the sun? Not a problem for me. I'm practically nocturnal anyway.

But even I need a little vitamin D. I just pulled the curtains really tight and pretended it was permanent twilight.

My plants are not thrilled.

Saturday: The Familiar Life

Being a familiar seemed like a mixed bag. Errands, cleaning, and listening to vampire whines? No thanks.

I made my husband pretend to be my vampire master for an hour. He mostly asked me to make him sandwiches.

I think I'd rather fight The Baron than make another sandwich.

Sunday: Reflection Time (Literally)

No reflections? That's a weird one. I spent the day staring at walls. Very existential.

I missed seeing my hair. Is it getting gray? Am I developing wrinkles?

My unpopular opinion: mirrors are important for maintaining sanity. Especially when you’re trying to pull off a Nadja-inspired look.

Final Thoughts: Am I a Vampire?

Probably not. But I did learn a few things. Like, velvet is not my friend. And garlic is life.

Also, being a vampire seems exhausting. All that brooding and immortality. Give me Netflix and pizza any day.

Would I do it again? Maybe. If I could find a better bat mask. And a more cooperative cat.

And maybe if Colin Robinson wasn't around.