What Season Is It In England Right Now

Let's talk about England. Specifically, what season it really is.

Because, honestly, the calendar lies.

The Official Story

According to the, ahem, authorities, it's supposed to be whatever the date says. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter.

Easy, right? Wrong!

My Unpopular Opinion

Here's the truth: England has two seasons. Sort of.

Hear me out before you grab your pitchforks.

There's "Vaguely Pleasant-ish" and "Perpetual Damp."

Vaguely Pleasant-ish (aka Maybe Summer?)

This one is tricky. It might happen. Key word: might.

You'll know it when you see it. The sun briefly peeks out.

Suddenly, everyone is wearing shorts, even though it's still probably around 15 degrees Celsius. We are optimistic, if nothing else.

This season is characterized by fleeting moments of joy. A picnic that isn't rained on! A BBQ that doesn't require an umbrella!

It usually lasts about three weeks. Maybe four, if England is feeling generous.

Then, BAM! Back to reality.

Perpetual Damp (aka The Rest of the Year)

Ah, yes. The main event. The season that truly defines England.

Perpetual Damp is a state of being. It's not just rain. It's a deep, pervasive moisture that seeps into your bones.

Your clothes are always slightly damp. Your hair is always slightly frizzy. Your spirits are… well, they're trying.

The sky is perpetually grey. Unless it's dark. Then it's just... dark and damp.

This is the season of wellington boots, waterproof jackets, and a general sense of resignation.

You'll find yourself saying things like, "At least it's not snowing," even though you'd secretly prefer snow. At least snow is pretty damp.

This season includes all the calendar dates of Autumn, Winter and Spring. Yes, even Spring. Don’t be fooled!

Evidence Supporting My Wild Claims

Think about it. How many times have you said, "Is it really July?" while shivering in a cardigan?

How many times have you seen daffodils blooming in November? (Okay, maybe not November, but you get the idea.)

The plants are confused. The animals are confused. We're all confused.

The birds are shivering on the trees, and the bees are complaining as they fly around looking for somewhere dry to get to, and all the other animals are just going on with their lives, not caring about the weather.

Therefore, Perpetual Damp is the logical conclusion.

In Conclusion (or, Is It Just Me?)

So, what season is it in England right now? Probably Perpetual Damp.

Unless you're incredibly lucky, and experiencing a fleeting moment of Vaguely Pleasant-ish.

If you are, cherish it! Take pictures! Frame them! Because it won't last.

And if you disagree with me? Well, you're probably wearing shorts in October, aren't you?

Stay dry (or as dry as possible)!