What Is Planet Of The Apes Streaming On

Okay, let's be honest. We've all been there. You want some ape action. I mean, Planet of the Apes! Where is it hiding?

The Great Ape Streaming Hunt

First, you fire up your favorite streaming service. Netflix? Nope. Hulu? Nada. It's like the apes are playing hide-and-seek.

Seriously, why is it so hard to find these movies? Is General Ursus hiding them? Probably. He seems like the type.

You check Disney+. After all, they own everything now, right? Surely, Caesar and his crew are chilling there. Wrong again.

Then you remember Amazon Prime Video. Maybe they're available to rent or buy. Possibly, but likely not included in your subscription. Sigh.

Paramount+? A glimmer of hope! They do have some of the newer films. But finding the originals? Still a quest worthy of Cornelius himself.

Fine, fine, you begrudgingly admit defeat. It's rental time. Prepare your wallet.

YouTube, Google Play, Apple TV – they're all waiting. Ready to take your money for the ape privilege.

Is it just me, or is renting movies in 2024 feel... archaic? I'm just saying. Apes deserve better distribution!

Here it comes. The one you might hate me for. I think the original Planet of the Apes (1968) is overrated.

Gasp! Clutch your pearls! Yes, I said it. Don't get me wrong, it's iconic. But the sequels? Some are hilariously bad.

The Charlton Heston scenery chewing? Priceless. But give me the modern trilogy any day. The motion capture is stunning!

Seriously though, the streaming situation is frustrating. It's like they intentionally make it hard to binge-watch these films.

Maybe it's a conspiracy. Big Banana trying to control the ape movie market? I wouldn't put it past them.

So, where IS Planet of the Apes streaming? The answer is... it depends. Prepare for a scavenger hunt.

One day, all the Planet of the Apes movies will be in one place. We can only dream.

Until then, happy hunting! May the odds (and the streaming gods) be ever in your favor.

And remember, "Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!" ... or, you know, just find a remote. Whatever works.

In the meantime, you can always try to convince a friend to buy the whole collection on Blu-ray. Then you can just mooch off them.

I'm not saying you should, but... I'm also not not saying it.

Good luck fellow ape enthusiast!

"Damn them! Damn them all!" - George Taylor (probably after failing to find the movie streaming anywhere)