What Episode Does Killua Try To Kill Himself

Wait, Killua Tried What?! Let's Unpack the Killua "Suicide Attempt" Rumor

Okay, so, let's talk about our favorite electric assassin, Killua Zoldyck. He's got the spiky white hair, the cool skateboard, and, oh yeah, the whole family of professional killers thing. But did he actually try to, you know, end it all at some point? The internet's been buzzing, and we need to get to the bottom of this!

You've probably seen the fan theories. The angsty AMVs. Maybe even a tearful TikTok or two. All hinting at this supposed dark moment in Killua's past. But, let's put on our detective hats and sift through the evidence, shall we?

Episode 131: A Potential "Misunderstanding"

A lot of the confusion swirls around episode 131 of the 2011 Hunter x Hunter anime, titled "Anger × And × Light." This is where things get really intense between Killua and his older brother, Illumi. Like, dial-up internet trying to download a high-definition movie kind of intense.

Remember Illumi? The guy with the creepy needle-face and a knack for mind control? He planted a needle in Killua's head that forced him to prioritize his own safety above everything else. Think of it as an internal "don't die!" alarm that was way too loud.

So, what actually happens in episode 131 that has everyone so concerned? Killua is desperately trying to save Gon from the Chimera Ants. But, the needle in his brain is screaming at him, preventing him from risking his life.

He can't control his body! He physically cannot move to help his friend. It's like trying to run a marathon while wearing cement shoes. Frustrating, right?

The Scene in Question: Breakdown or Suicide Attempt?

Now, this is the part where the "suicide attempt" rumors take hold. Killua, completely overwhelmed and desperate, starts tearing at his own head, trying to remove the needle. He’s screaming, crying, and clearly in immense pain.

He wants to remove the needle at any cost. But, is he trying to kill himself? I think he's trying to remove the influence that has been placed on him, even if that means hurting himself in the process.

Think about it like this: you're trying to unplug a really annoying smoke detector at 3 AM. You're not trying to electrocute yourself. You're just trying to silence the darn thing!

The Verdict: Highly Unlikely He Was Trying to Take His Life

While the scene is definitely disturbing and showcases the immense mental and emotional torture Killua is enduring, it's more accurate to see it as a desperate act of self-preservation. He wants to be free. He wants to help Gon. His love for Gon outweighs his own safety. Killua is fighting for his own agency.

He's essentially wrestling his inner demons, personified by Illumi's influence. He is attempting to sever that control. It is not to cease living.

So, next time you see someone claiming Killua tried to commit suicide, you can confidently set them straight. He was fighting for his life. For his friend's life. And for his own freedom. He is a true friend!

And that's way more badass than any suicide attempt, right? Killua is our hero.