Watch Dancing With The Stars Season 29 Episode 1

Okay, folks, let’s talk about Dancing With the Stars. Season 29, Episode 1, to be exact. Did we watch it? Of course, we did! Because what else is there to do on a Monday night?

First Impressions: Glitter and Groans

The sparkles were blinding. The judging? Questionable. Don’t get me started on some of those outfits. Were they trying to distract us from the footwork?

Look, I’m no dance expert. But I do have eyes. And some of those steps… well, let's just say they were more "shuffling with determination" than "elegant ballroom."

The Couples We’re (Already) Obsessed With

Some couples just have that spark. That chemistry. That undeniable "Wow, they might actually win this" factor.

AJ McLean brought the boy band energy. He was surprisingly good, wasn’t he? Though I secretly wanted him to bust out a Backstreet Boys routine.

And Justina Machado? She was a total firecracker! I have a feeling she's going to be a fan favorite.

Unpopular Opinion Time!

Here's where things get spicy. Prepare yourselves for my controversial takes. Because let's be honest, some things need to be said.

Did anyone else think Carole Baskin was… entertaining? Yes, the dancing was… well, let's call it "interpretive." But I couldn't look away. I felt a little sorry for her partner.

And maybe, just maybe, Tyra Banks' hosting was a little… much? I get it, she's iconic. But someone needs to tell her less is more. The outfits, the introductions… it was a lot to take in.

The Judging: Is It Rigged? (Probably Not, But…)

Let's be real, the judging is always subjective. One judge loves it, another hates it. It’s all part of the drama.

But sometimes, you just have to wonder. Did that person really deserve a higher score than that person? The conspiracy theories practically write themselves.

I mean, come on! Some people were clearly better. Nelly showed some surprising rhythm. I was impressed!

Predictions and Wishes

It's only the first episode, but I'm already making predictions. Kaitlyn Bristowe seems like a strong contender. She had a natural grace. I think she has great potential.

And my wish? Less Tyra costume changes. Seriously, my eyes can't handle it. And maybe, just maybe, a little more honesty from the judges.

Also, can we please get some decent music? Enough with the generic pop songs! Give us some salsa! Some tango! Make it interesting!

Final Thoughts: Guilty Pleasure Perfection

Dancing With the Stars is ridiculous. It’s cheesy. It’s over the top.

But it’s also incredibly entertaining. It's the perfect escape from reality. So bring on the glitter, the drama, and the questionable dance moves! I'll be watching. Will you?

Until next week, keep dancing (or at least pretending to)! And may your scores always be higher than Carole Baskin's. Good luck to everyone involved!