The Hobbit Desolation Of Smaug Not On Hbo Max
Okay, listen up, fellow adventurers! Gather 'round, because I've got some news that might just make you clutch your imaginary One Ring a little tighter. We need to talk about dragons, dwarves, and the distinct lack of them on HBO Max.
Specifically, I'm talking about The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Yes, that middle child of the trilogy, the one where Benedict Cumberbatch basically becomes a fire-breathing, gold-hoarding lizard of epic proportions.
Where's My Smaug?
Seriously, where is it? You fire up HBO Max, popcorn in hand, ready for a dose of Middle-earth magic. You type "Hobbit" into the search bar, visions of Bilbo and his hairy feet dancing in your head.
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And then... BAM! Nothing. Or maybe just An Unexpected Journey and The Battle of the Five Armies. It's like finding a treasure chest with everything but the actual treasure.
It’s like ordering a pizza with all your favorite toppings, but they forgot the cheese! You get the pepperoni, the mushrooms, the olives, but the essential, melty, cheesy goodness? Gone! It's a tragedy, I tell you, a tragedy!
The Quest for Streaming Smaug
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Calm down, friend! There are other ways to watch it!" And you're right, of course.
You can rent it, you can buy it, you can even dust off those ancient things called DVDs (remember those?). But let's be real, in this day and age, we expect our fantastical adventures to be readily available at our fingertips. Preferably while wearing pajamas.
We want to shout, "Smaug, I choose you!" and have him appear on our screens in glorious HD. Is that too much to ask? I think not!
Imagine, if you will, trying to explain this injustice to a dwarf. They'd probably start smashing furniture and demanding a share of HBO Max's profits! And honestly, I wouldn't blame them.
A Dragon-Sized Hole in the Streaming Lineup
The absence of The Desolation of Smaug leaves a dragon-shaped hole in the HBO Max fantasy lineup. It’s like having a superhero team without the main hero. It's just... incomplete.
It’s like a band missing their lead singer. You can still hear the music, but the soul is gone! The soaring vocals, the charismatic presence… all absent. We need that Cumberbatch dragon voice!
So, what's a Tolkien fan to do? We can only hope that HBO Max hears our pleas, recognizes the error of their ways, and adds The Desolation of Smaug back into the fold.
Until then, we'll just have to rely on our memories of Smaug's epic speeches, Bilbo's sneaky burglar skills, and the sheer awesomeness of Laketown. And maybe write strongly worded letters… or, you know, post about it on social media. That’s basically the same thing, right?
Let's spread the word! #WhereIsSmaug #DesolationOfSmaugOnHBOMax #BringBackTheDragon. Together, we can make a difference! We can bring the fire (and the gold) back to our screens!
"I am fire! I am... missing from HBO Max!" - Smaug (probably)
Okay, I'm done ranting. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch An Unexpected Journey for the tenth time and dream of the day when I can finally binge the entire Hobbit trilogy on a single streaming service. A dragon can dream, can't he?
And hey, maybe while we're at it, we can petition for an extended edition with even more dragon scenes. Now that's an adventure worth embarking on!
