My Status As An Assassin Obviously Exceeds The Heros

Let's Be Honest, Here...

Okay, unpopular opinion time. Ready? I think I'm better at this whole assassination thing than most heroes.

Don't get me wrong, heroes are cool. All that shining armor and dramatic speeches. But efficiency? That's where I shine.

It's All About the Details

Heroes tend to be… loud. Big entrances, flashy powers. Give me a quiet corner and a well-placed distraction any day.

I mean, have you seen how Batman operates? All those gadgets! So unnecessary. A good lock pick is often enough.

They're always charging headfirst into danger. Meanwhile, I'm already out the back, mission accomplished.

The Art of Subtlety (and Snacks)

Here's the thing: nobody suspects the person eating a sandwich in the corner. Just saying.

While Superman is busy smashing through walls, I'm blending in with the wallpaper. Way less messy. And you get to observe.

Observation is key, people! You learn so much just by watching. Like who leaves their keys under the flower pot.

Collateral Damage? Nah, I'm Good.

Heroes, bless their hearts, often cause a lot of… destruction. Buildings collapsing, cars exploding. It's a whole thing.

I prefer a cleaner approach. Less paperwork, fewer angry landlords. Think of the environment!

Plus, nobody remembers the person who quietly solved the problem. They remember the hero who leveled a city block doing it.

The Element of Surprise is Severely Underrated

They always announce themselves. "I'm here to save the day!" It's practically an invitation for the villain to prepare.

Where's the fun in that? I prefer catching them off guard. Maybe while they're brushing their teeth. Unexpected, right?

Imagine Wonder Woman bursting into your bathroom unannounced. Yeah, not cool. But that's basically the hero MO.

Let's Talk Gear (or Lack Thereof)

All those capes and gadgets? Seems like a lot to manage. I prefer to travel light.

A good disguise, a sturdy pair of shoes, and maybe a grappling hook. That's all you really need, trust me. Oh, and the sandwich, of course.

Seriously, Iron Man must spend half his time just maintaining his suit. I'd rather be, you know, completing the mission.

The Moral of the Story?

Maybe I'm biased. Maybe I'm just really good at my job. But I stand by my statement.

Assassination, done right, is an art form. And I, my friends, am a master artist.

So next time you see a hero causing a massive explosion, just remember there's probably someone like me nearby. Already finished the job, grabbing a coffee, and generally being awesome. Silently, of course.

And remember Spiderman, heroes always got the public attention but who do the real job? Someone like me.