Married At First Sight Season 13 Episode 7

Houston, We Have (More) Problems!

Okay, folks, let's dive into Married At First Sight Season 13, Episode 7. Brace yourselves. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, bad decisions, and questionable fashion choices.

Seriously, did anyone else cringe when Johnny and Bao had yet ANOTHER argument? It's like a broken record at this point. Someone get them a therapist…or a divorce lawyer.

My Hot Take: I'm Team Bao (Always)

Unpopular opinion: Johnny is exhausting. He nitpicks everything Bao does. I swear, if he complains about her "lack of emotions" one more time, I'm throwing my shoe at the TV.

Bao seems genuinely sweet and trying. She deserves better than this constant criticism. Someone needs to tell Johnny that constructive criticism isn't code for "insult under the guise of helping".

I get that he's "trying to help" her open up but his ways of helping her is so wrong. He's like a toddler hitting a toy so it'll work.

Michaela and Zack: Still a Mystery

Moving on to Michaela and Zack. What even IS going on there? They're like a human weather system, constantly shifting from sunny to stormy in 0.5 seconds.

One minute they're laughing and holding hands. The next, Michaela is accusing Zack of being emotionally unavailable. And honestly, sometimes I think she’s right.

I think there are deep underlying issues between them. But it seems they cannot communicate them to each other effectively.

Can We Talk About Zack's Song?

Okay, let's be real. Zack singing to Michaela was...something. I appreciate the effort, I really do. But the lyrics were...questionable. The music style… odd. And the singing wasn’t exactly Tony Award material.

I was cringing so hard for Michaela. Poor girl, she looked like she wanted to disappear through the floor. I feel like she's been cornered. It's so hard to tell someone they suck in their artistic expression, especially when it was intended as a romantic gesture.

Maybe stick to law, Zack. Just a suggestion.

Jose and Rachel: The Control Freaks

And then we have Jose and Rachel. Jose's color-coded spreadsheets are officially nightmare fuel. Does he seriously plan every single aspect of their life together?

Rachel seems sweet, but I'm starting to worry she's being steamrolled. She is literally being managed by Jose. Someone get that woman some independence!

I just don't see how this is sustainable in the long run. The need to always be in control will eventually cause them problems. Trust me, I know.

Is this a Marriage or a Business Partnership?

Seriously, is this a marriage or a hostile takeover of someone's life? I feel like he will be in the way more than he's helpful. I am expecting an explosion.

Brett and Ryan: Slow Burn…to Nowhere?

Finally, we have Brett and Ryan. They're…fine. Which, in Married At First Sight terms, is practically a miracle. But are they actually connecting?

They seem to get along well and have some physical intimacy. But do they have a deeper emotional connection? I’m not so sure.

I feel like they are friends who are married. Which is good, but not the full package.

The Experts: Where Are You?!

Seriously, where are the experts in all of this? Someone needs to intervene before things get even more disastrous. These people are clearly struggling, and the “experts” are MIA.

They throw these couples in a house together and expect them to figure it all out. What did they even do? Did they even do a background check? I doubt it.

Maybe next season they should consider adding "Therapist Intervention" as a regular feature. Because these couples desperately need it.

Until next week, folks! Stay tuned for more drama, tears, and questionable life choices. Only on Married At First Sight!