It Wrong To Expect A Hot Spring In A Dungeon

Okay, let's talk dungeons. We all know them. Dark, dusty, probably filled with goblins.

Here's my unpopular opinion: expecting a hot spring down there is just plain wrong.

Seriously, Where's the Logic?

Think about it. Dungeons are usually underground. Like, deep underground. Where sunlight fears to tread.

They're the domain of evil overlords and forgotten horrors. Not relaxation and cucumber water.

I get it. After a long day of slaying monsters, a soak sounds amazing. But a dungeon? Come on!

Hot springs need… heat. And water. Where's this conveniently geothermal water source coming from?

Is the Lich King moonlighting as a plumber? I highly doubt it.

And who's cleaning the thing? Imagine the slime buildup. Gross.

Dungeons are more likely to have questionable stains on the floor. Or maybe a pit filled with spikes.

The most you can hope for is a rusty bucket of questionable water. Probably guarded by a grumpy mimic.

Think about the interior design! More like "early torture chamber" than "soothing spa retreat".

I once went into a dungeon expecting at least a functional outhouse. I was sorely disappointed.

The only "amenity" was a pile of bones. Not exactly five-star accommodations.

So now I pack my own portable toilet. Don't judge.

Look, I love a good hot spring. Imagine one nestled in a beautiful mountain. Maybe near a friendly village.

That's the setting for a relaxing soak. Not a moldy dungeon corridor.

Let's keep our dungeons gritty and our hot springs… well, hot and springy. In appropriate locations!

Dear GMs, I'm begging you. Please, no dungeon hot springs.

Give us traps. Give us puzzles. Give us hordes of angry kobolds. But no dungeons with surprise Jacuzzis.

It breaks the immersion! And frankly, it's a bit silly. Think about the dungeon's vibe, GM!

So, there you have it. My argument against the illogical existence of dungeon hot springs.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's some obscure rulebook somewhere that justifies it. I don't care.

A dungeon hot spring is like finding a unicorn riding a bicycle. It's just…wrong. Let's leave them out there, okay?