How To Cheese Astel Stars Of Darkness

Okay, so picture this: me, controller in hand, sweat dripping onto my keyboard (yes, I play on PC, fight me!), facing off against Astel, Stars of Darkness. I was getting absolutely wrecked. Like, "uninstall the game" levels of wrecked. I was convinced this cosmic centipede-thing was designed solely to laugh at my misery. I spent a solid three hours dodging, rolling, and generally flailing about like a drunken octopus, all to no avail. Then, a whisper in the internet wind: "Cheese it." And that, my friends, is how this whole thing started.

We've all been there, right? That boss that just feels...unfair. The one that makes you question your life choices and whether you should just go back to playing Stardew Valley. Well, Astel, Stars of Darkness, is definitely one of those bosses for many Tarnished. But fear not! You don't have to subject yourself to endless pain and suffering. There are ways, shall we say, to...encourage Astel to behave.

What Do We Mean By "Cheese," Anyway?

Let's get one thing straight. "Cheesing" a boss isn't about cheating. It's about exploiting weaknesses, using specific builds, or employing strategies that make the fight significantly easier than intended by the devs. Think of it as a tactical advantage, a clever workaround, or, you know, straight-up outsmarting a cosmic horror. And who are we to judge? Elden Ring is hard enough as it is!

The Power of Rock Sling (and Gravity)

The most popular, and arguably most effective, "cheese" for Astel involves a combination of sorcery and terrain. Specifically, the Rock Sling spell and the narrow confines of the Astel fight arena. Here's the deal:

1. The Rock Sling: This sorcery is your bread and butter. It deals physical damage (which Astel is surprisingly weak to) and has excellent range. You can find it early in the game too. Look around Street of Sages Ruins in Caelid. Don't worry, the scarlet rot is just a little love tap from the Lands Between!

2. Position is Key: Astel is huge, but thankfully, the arena isn't open. There are usually tight corridors or elevated platforms where you can stand where Astel can't reach you.

3. Cast, Dodge, Repeat: Now, the magic happens. Cast Rock Sling from your advantageous spot. Watch those glorious rocks pummel Astel's face. Dodge any ranged attacks (that gravity pull can be nasty). And rinse and repeat until victory is yours!

Why This Works (and Other Options)

So, why is Rock Sling so effective? Well, Astel's a bit of a glass cannon. It hits hard, but it doesn't take physical damage well. And Rock Sling deals pure physical damage with good poise damage.

Now, let's say you're not a magic user. No problem! There are other options:

• Mimic Tear: This Spirit Ash is your best friend. Summon it, give it a decent weapon, and let it draw aggro while you unleash hell from afar. Remember to upgrade it! A fully upgraded Mimic Tear is practically a second player.
• Bleed Builds: Weapons with bleed buildup can absolutely shred Astel. Rivers of Blood, dual katanas with Seppuku – anything that causes bleed is your friend. Get in there, apply the bleed, and watch its health bar melt.
• High Poise Damage: Bring a weapon that can poise break them. Once they're open to critical attack, unleash hell.

A Word of Caution (and a Touch of Irony)

Okay, so cheesing Astel works. But be warned! It might make the fight feel...anticlimactic. You might not get that sense of accomplishment you crave. On the other hand, you might just be so relieved that you don't care. I know I wasn't.

Ultimately, how you choose to approach Astel (or any boss) is up to you. There's no shame in cheesing if it means you get to experience more of the game without throwing your controller through the wall. And hey, maybe after you cheese it once, you'll feel confident enough to take it on fair and square in New Game Plus. Or maybe not. Either way, good luck, Tarnished. May the cheese be with you!