Elden Ring Stop Pretending You Can't See Me
Elden Ring: Stop Pretending You Can't See Me
Okay, let's be real. We need to talk about Elden Ring. Specifically, the enemies. They have… vision problems?
I'm not saying they're all blind. But sometimes? I'm convinced they're playing a very elaborate game of "pretend you don't see the Tarnished."
The Bush Disguise: A Masterpiece of Invisibility
We've all done it. Crouched in a bush, thinking we're invisible. Even though our giant, glowing weapons are clearly sticking out.
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Yet, the enemy patrols right by! Are they being polite? Are they scared? Or are they just legally blind?
I suspect it's the latter. Because, frankly, a twig could probably see me better than some of these guys.
The "Slow Walk Past" Technique: Stealth at Its Finest (Not Really)
You know the drill. You're trying to sneak past a group of enemies. So you slowly walk, thinking you're some kind of ninja.
They're facing you! You're shimmering in the light! You might as well be wearing a disco ball.
But nope! They're just staring into the void. Blissfully unaware of your presence. I call shenanigans.
The Cliff's Edge Stare: Contemplating Existence, Ignoring Murder
My personal favorite: enemies staring off a cliff. Clearly deep in thought. Wondering about the meaning of life. Definitely not paying attention to the heavily armed player approaching from behind.
A little tap. Down they go! And I feel slightly guilty. But mostly victorious. Sorry, existential dude.
Perhaps FromSoftware just wants us to feel like brilliant strategists. Maybe they're boosting our egos. Either way, I'm not complaining.
The Backstab Tango: A Dance of Deception
Ah, the glorious backstab. A classic move. But how often do enemies really notice you're behind them?
They're in mid-conversation. Having a lovely chat about the weather in the Lands Between. Completely oblivious to the giant sword about to rearrange their spine.
It's almost too easy! Almost. (Until they suddenly turn around and one-shot you, naturally.)
The Conclusion (Maybe): They See You, They Just Don't Care
So, what's the truth? Are the enemies in Elden Ring truly blind?
My theory? They can see you. They just choose not to. Maybe they're tired of fighting.
Maybe they're secretly rooting for you, the underdog Tarnished. Or maybe they're just incredibly lazy. Whatever the reason, I appreciate their selective blindness.
"Thank you, blind enemies of the Lands Between. You make me feel like a stealth god. Even though I'm probably just a clumsy Tarnished with questionable fashion sense."
So next time you're sneaking past a dragon, or backstabbing a giant, remember this: they probably see you. They're just being nice. Or completely inept. Either way, embrace the chaos. Embrace the absurdity. Embrace the slightly broken AI of Elden Ring.
And for goodness’s sake, stop pretending you can’t see me.
