Asi En El Cielo Como En La Tierra

Ever heard someone say, "It's written in the stars"? Or maybe, "What happens on Earth mirrors what happens in Heaven?" That's the gist of "As above, so below."

It sounds super profound, right? Like something a wise old wizard would whisper before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Well, I've been thinking about it. And I have a potentially controversial opinion.

My Unpopular Opinion: My Toaster Is a Microcosm of the Universe

Okay, hear me out. Seriously.

We have this old toaster. It’s seen better days. One side burns everything to a crisp. The other barely warms the bread.

Sound familiar? Like some relationships you know? Perfectly balanced... NOT!

The Toast Alignment Problem

Maybe the alignment of the heating elements is off. Maybe one element is closer to Earth. The other closer to Heaven. Or at least, closer to the toaster equivalent of Heaven.

And isn't that just like life? Sometimes we're aligned. Sometimes we're burning on one side and freezing on the other.

So, "As above, so below" translates to: "As in my toaster, so in my life." Deep, I know.

Celestial Bureaucracy and My Junk Drawer

I also suspect there's some kind of cosmic paperwork involved. Maybe St. Peter has to sign off on every slice of toast.

Imagine the delays! The bureaucratic red tape! It’s no wonder my toast is unevenly cooked.

And my junk drawer? Oh, it’s a swirling vortex of cosmic chaos. The Big Bang happened in that drawer. I'm sure of it.

The Lost Sock Singularity

I bet there's a secret, hidden dimension in my junk drawer. Where all the lost socks go. A sock singularity. Governed by universal laws we haven't even discovered yet.

And you know what? I bet whatever's causing the socks to vanish also controls the traffic patterns on the highway. Think about it!

It's all connected. The socks, the traffic, the uneven toast. It's all playing out, "As above, so below."

Does This Mean We Can Blame the Stars?

Probably not. But it's more fun than blaming ourselves, right?

If my presentation goes badly, it was Mercury in retrograde! If I burn the dinner, it was the influence of Mars! If I can't find my keys, blame Neptune!

Okay, I'm mostly kidding. Mostly.

Taking Responsibility... Sort Of

But maybe there's a kernel of truth in all this. Maybe recognizing patterns, even silly ones, helps us understand ourselves and the world a little better.

Maybe understanding the toaster-level universe helps us navigate the bigger, scarier one.

Or maybe I just need a new toaster. But where's the fun in that?

Final Thoughts (Mostly About Toast)

So, the next time you're dealing with a cosmic problem (like a burnt piece of toast), remember: "As above, so below."

And maybe invest in a good toaster. Just in case.

Because let's be honest, a perfectly toasted piece of bread is a little slice of heaven, no matter how you slice it. Even if St. Peter approved it.